Personal growth and healing amidst the rise of tyranny.
If you’re like a lot of my clients right now, you may be feeling a bit… overwhelmed.
Whether you’re watching the news lately, or avoiding it, it’s hard not to feel the weight of it; the potent combo of fear and powerlessness; the seemingly endless cycles of hurt and anger and despair.
If you’re like a lot of my clients right now, you may be experiencing a sense of meaninglessness around the personal growth and healing work that once excited you.
Because really, what’s the point of trying to heal your inner child, or make peace with your body, when the world is falling apart?
How do you stay motivated to break your patterns of addiction and numbing, when the people who want to oppress you are winning?
How do you keep reaching for joy, expansiveness, and personal liberation, amidst the rise of violence and tyranny?
Listen, I know that you still value liberation, and you still care about personal growth.
I know that you still want to heal your trauma, unlearn your conditioning, and step into your power. You still wish for the ability to listen to your body, express your truth, and trust your intuition. You’re still committed to working on authenticity, vulnerability, trust, and self-acceptance. You still strive to dismantle internalized oppression and fight for justice. And you still believe in both personal and collective freedom.
But it used to be… easier.
It used to be that you would read a book, or take a class, and then integrate or implement whatever you learned, with some kind of immediate result.
It used to be that you were intrinsically motivated to journal, meditate, or engage in the self-care habits that supported your healing and growth, because there was a direct relationship between how much effort you put in, and how much better you felt.
It used to be that doing the hard or scary thing came with an immediate reward– a burst of clarity or insight. A wave of relief or calm. A bubbling up of pride or euphoria.
It was exciting to feel the “work” working, and it made you want to keep going. But it’s gotten harder.
Maybe it was COVID that changed things for you, or the Gaza bombings, or the rise of disinformation and Trump fanaticism. But somewhere along the way, you started to feel helpless and overwhelmed.
And at that point— because this is what happens when we feel helpless and overwhelmed—your mental health flagged, and you found yourself with far less energy, capacity, and motivation for personal growth and healing.
Feeling helpless is a massive drain on our internal resources, so if you feel like your battery never seems to get a full “charge” anymore, you’re not wrong. Even if you put in the same amount of “recharging” effort (through self-care habits etc), you may always feel like you’re running on empty.
And as the rewards stopped feeling rewarding, and the excitement and enthusiasm disappeared, that intrinsic motivation to work on yourself fell away.
So you pulled back a bit, because of course you did. It was a triage situation. You needed to focus on just putting one foot in front of the other for a bit, to rest and self-soothe and metabolize the situation. I’ll get back to it soon, you thought, when I feel a bit better.
But the news kept coming. The pain and trauma seemed to just keep piling up around you—far too much for one person to ever process and metabolize– and apathy and despair started to creep in, with the realization that you might never get back “on top” of it all, so why try?
You still value liberation, and you still care about growth and healing, but now you struggle to make the time; to put in the effort; to find the motivation.
This isn’t me throwing shade, by the way. I feel it too, and it’s valid and normal.
If you think about Maslow’s hierarchy for a minute, it makes sense that we would struggle to connect to the pursuit of self-actualization, when our basic human needs for safety, security, and survival feel threatened.
I just want to name it, and hold space for it. I want us to have a conversation about it.
Showing up for our own healing is hard, when it seems certain that the illness is going to win anyway. Reaching for our own expansion and liberation feels impossible, against a background of so much pain and oppression. Fighting for justice feels pointless, when you don’t feel like anything you do will make a difference.
The activists and politicians tell us that the movement needs us now more than ever, and that we cannot give up. Hopelessness is a privilege that we cannot afford right now, so we must gather our energy and fight harder than ever.
And they’re right, of course. But when you’re already overwhelmed, that kind of message can just add to the feelings of helplessness and overwhelm. Those feelings don’t inspire us to gather our energy and fight, they inspire us to lie down and doom-scroll until we fall asleep.
Maybe I should be writing something a bit more positive and actionable, to cheer you on and tell you to keep going; that you’ve got this; that you can do it. Maybe I should be writing something to inspire you, or convince you, or corral you into action.
But as much as that might feel good to read, let’s be honest– the moment you finished reading it, it would get filed away in the back of your mind as just one more thing to feel bad about. One more thing you care about, but don’t have energy or capacity to put into action.
And that doesn’t help anyone.
So today I just want to hold that heaviness with you. My hope is that we all find the strength, courage, and empowerment we need to keep going (and keep fighting) by remembering that our personal healing and empowerment matter, and we don’t have to do it alone.
Big hug,
Jessi
PS: I’m currently accepting new clients, for both the 6 month coaching container, and the Body Neutrality Accelerator. If you’ve been looking for guidance and support, check out the details and apply for coaching here!
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