Authors Who Have Broken My Heart

#TransparentTuesdays

Hi friend,

The vast majority of my most treasured writing heroes have broken my heart.

I am a writer, deep down in my bones. 

My soul is a collection of words and quotes, both fiction and non-fiction; poetry and prose.

Writers have made me feel seen and understood throughout my life. They’ve helped shape and organize the raw data of my body and experiences into sculptures of wisdom and clarity in the museum of my mind, and breathed whole corridors into existence where once there were only walls. 

Reading is one of my greatest pleasures, and I am still secretly a little bit in love with every writer whose words have grown and expanded me into the person I am today, whether they entered my life in the form of a book, a song, or a blog post.

Unfortunately, however, a ridiculous number of these people—whose words and minds I have taken great pleasure in exploring—have turned out to be problematic at best, and monstrous at worst. 

Roald Dahl and Theodore Gussel (Dr. Suess) were my first introduction to pocket universes, magic systems, weird creatures, and imaginative play; vivid worlds where the kids had power, the underdogs won, and kindness mattered. 

Granted, these authors were of another era, but I was deeply saddened to learn later in life how they reflected and upheld racist beliefs in both their bodies of work, and their personal views.

Then there was Orson Scott Card, whose prolific and creative young adult fiction made me first fall in love with scifi, who taught me to always trust the heart over the establishment, and who gave my daydreams permission to adopt a more expansive view of space-time. 

After reading dozens of his books, I found out that Orson Soctt Card is a deeply religious (Mormon) man who believes in traditional gender roles and uses his platform to spew homophobic ideas. As a queer and non-binary person, it makes me so sad to think that this person, whose inner world I have spent so much time exploring and enjoying, would not only disapprove of who I am, but would in fact fight against my right to exist.

Then of course there’s the infamous J. K. Rowling, whose work (which is fairly universally beloved) was also a revelation for me. 

I felt particularly connected to the wizarding world because the new books came out every year of my life through middle school and high school, and Harry and I were always the same age. In my mind, we went through adolescence together: both of us special; both of us destined for greatness. I was sure of it. 

J. K. Rowling, however, has decided to sully her unparalleled legacy by dedicating her life–and her very public platform—to promoting transphobia and other nastiness.

I probably don’t need to tell you how heartbreaking and frustrating this has been to watch unfold.

There’s Russel Brand, too, whose book on sobriety I once considered a beautifully written and valuable resource for clients. Despite his attempt to rehab his reputation as a new-age born-again fake feminist MAGA wellness guru, Russel Brand was recently arrested for rape and sexual assault.

And then there’s Niel Gaiman, who gave me endless empowered female heroes to look up to, expanded my idea of what counts as fantasy, and breathed magic into the mundane. 

He turned out to be a sadistic predator and rapist. 

This one still hurts.

For what it’s worth, I have complicated feelings about the question of separating the art from the artist, but I’ve made a point in the last few years of reading scifi and fantasy specifically from authors of color, and women. 

It’s not a guarantee of character, to be sure, but it’s a start, and it feels hopeful to slowly explore new worlds, investigate new perspectives, and collect new heroes.

But with all that said, it’s just… hard out here, for a lover of words and writing. 

Patriarchy and white supremacy hurt and kill people every single day, and obviously this is the least of the harm caused by it. 

But patriarchy and white supremacy also ruin art. 

And since art is how we explore, express, and evolve our humanity…. as both a writer and a reader, I am very, deeply sad about it. 

Have you ever felt this way? Have a sci-fi, fantasy, young adult, or non-fiction author you want to recommend? Hit reply and let me know!

Big hug,

Jessi